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<title>Apple of discord, except no by ChopinWorshipper</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25014574">Apple of discord, except no</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChopinWorshipper/pseuds/ChopinWorshipper'>ChopinWorshipper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Olympians and their everyday shenanigans [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ancient Greek Religion &amp; Lore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Sorry Not Sorry, lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:08:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>219</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25014574</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChopinWorshipper/pseuds/ChopinWorshipper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>How to avoid a war, brought to you by freaking Ares; or: how to not offend two out of three powerful goddesses. This is a crack fic. XD</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aphrodite/Ares (Ancient Greek Religion &amp; Lore), Hera/Zeus (Ancient Greek Religion &amp; Lore)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Olympians and their everyday shenanigans [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148963</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Apple of discord, except no</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zeus had a problem.</p>
<p>His queen Hera, his favourite daughter Athena and troublesome Aphrodite were fighting over an apple, that was supposed to be for the fairest of the goddesses.</p>
<p>There was no safe answer to the question which of them was most beautiful – and beautiful they were, all radiant in their own way.</p>
<p>“Everyone”, he called out, “Who is willing to resolve this matter?”</p>
<p>Obviously no one was. The other Olympians just looked at each other awkwardly.</p>
<p>Alright, then he would just choose one.</p>
<p>His coal black eyes wandered over everyone, until they found the perfect victim, uh, god to choose.</p>
<p>“Ares, my heir, come forward”, he requested.</p>
<p>The war god cringed, but obeyed.</p>
<p>“Now”, Zeus spoke, “Award this apple to the one you think is the fairest.”</p>
<p>Ares stared at him. “Okay, first off: Wow. You wanna make me choose between my mother, my girlfriend and the goddess who kicks my arse on a regular basis? Secondly …”</p>
<p>He looked around, thought for a moment and then, before anyone could do anything, yeeted the golden apple into a conveniently placed nearby marsh, where it plummeted into the bog at a high velocity.</p>
<p>Then Ares turned back to his father and the gaping contestants, looking as clueless and innocent, as someone like him could.</p>
<p>“… which apple do ya mean?”</p>
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